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A Breaking Wind

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day, he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent…

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The Inexperienced Curry Taster

Notes from an inexperienced curry taster named FRANK who was visiting Phoenix, Durban, South Africa. "Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a curry cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing…

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Bob the Anal Fissure

By Joe Cidoni As it appeared in a series of posts to alt.tasteless. After lurking about in the wings the required 2 months I have felt the need to tell you about my anal fissure Bob. It all started about two years ago in Thailand.

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A guy and his alligator

A guy enters bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works,…

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Silence is golden

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him…

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Stubbed Out

2006 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (17 April 2006, England) There's always someone who thinks good advice doesn't apply to him. For example, if a doctor advises that the one thing you must not do is go near a flame, as you are…

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Forest Service Feedback

These quotations are actual comments left on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by hikers completing wilderness camping trips. * "Escalators would help on steep uphill sections." * "A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a…

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Foreign Signs

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is…

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Funny Answering Machine Messages

Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep "Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep…

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Water Slide Accident

The Time I Lost Control of My Bowels on the Water Slide Date: 2006-11-16, 10:56AM MST My last few months have been racked with guilt and shame over a horrible incident and the need to purge myself has become overwhelming. So I turn to you…

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