Jokes ⁽⁴⁴⁾

Who said children are getting dumber every year? Check out the wisecracks below and judge for yourselves: 1. TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday? STUDENT: Seven. TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT: Nine. TEACHER: That's impossible. STUDENT:…

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?” Einstein ponders for a…

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach…

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks." The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of…

A man takes his wife to the county livestock show, and they head down the aisle that houses the bulls. The sign on the first stall states: THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR. The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50…

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office... but she belonged to someone else... One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you..." but…

A ten year old public school boy was finding fifth grade math to be the challenge of his life. Science? A piece of cake. Geography? No big deal. Spelling? Ha! Give me a break...but MATH? It was devastating! To not only him, but his mom…

1. I was so poor growing up. If I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with. 2. We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse. 3. Women like silent men, they think they're listening. 4. If winning isn't everything…

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she…

Four men went to play golf one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others,…