True stories ⁽²⁸⁾

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo…

Two kids are looking at the Dove ad campaign showing Hanna-Barbera characters with new hairdos. Kid #1: Yo, look at that Jetsons mom's hair. Kid #2: What's the Jetsons? Kid #1: You don't know the Jetsons? Dem's those niggas that live in space. --N train…

Guy, staring at girl: You look like someone I know. Girl: It's me. Guy: Oh, hi Alexis. You look different at eight in the morning. --C train Source: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

Hot southern girl #1: So, before I came up here my mom is like, "Be very careful around those northern boys, they think all southern girls just love to cook and fuck." Hot southern girl #2: Oh my gosh, are you serious? They think that?…

Girl #1: So when was your first kiss? Girl #2: My 17th birthday. Girl #1: How about your first time making out? Girl #2: Also my 17th birthday. Girl #1: ...first blowjob? Girl #2: This is awkward. 17th birthday, again. Girl #1: How about when…

Woman #1: It's really small, you know, but the sex is wonderful. Woman #2: You mean he's rich? Woman #1: Yeah. Exactly. --Union Square Source: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

Young woman #1: Guys never want to eat me out. Middle-aged dad with kids: Hey, we're trying to eat over here. Young woman #1: See, even hearing about it freaks them out. Young man at next table: Maybe I can take a look for you…

Dumb teen: Hey, look at this! It says "Train for jobs in biotch." Smarter teen: Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life? Source: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

Guy: I was seeing her for a while, but it just wasn’t working out. I guess I’m not over Jessica. Girl: What? Guy: What do you mean, what? Girl: I thought you were gay. Guy: Oh, because I’m a hairdresser. How original. Just because I’m…

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary submitted this... Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little "something extra"…